Funny comments on marriage

on Wednesday, 17 August 2016. Posted in Letters to the Editor, Opinions

Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

A wife’s view point: What’s “hers is hers” and what’s yours is hers too.

Forget the terms “housewife” and “homemaker,” “Domestic Goddess” is more descriptive.

Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.

My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.

“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates

“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” – Prince Philip

“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” – Ann Bancroft

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an overgrown male child who is no more handled by his parents.

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me.

The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying “do you want some money?”

In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, he wears. I shop, he pays!

When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. – Lana Turner