Excuses not to diet and exercise
By Brenda Harrison, Editor
It is that time of year when many Americans are trying to keep their New Year’s Resolutions. Included in the Top 10 list of most popular resolutions is to lose weight and exercise more.
You might call me unAmerican, but I must confess I did not make any resolutions this year. Why bother when I haven’t kept them for the last 30 years?
However, my “forever goals” have always been to lose weight and exercise more. Laughing about these goals helps lessen the sense of failure, so I am sharing some comments I found on this subject:
“The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you are off it.” – Jackie Gleason
I hate when I think I’m buying organic vegetables but when I get home I discover they’re just regular donuts. – Author unknown.
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.” – Erma Bombeck
My favorite exercise is a cross between lunge and crunch....I call it “lunch.” – From a poster.
“My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four – unless there are three other people.” – Orson Welles
“The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook.” – Julia Child
“I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C. Fields
“Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!” – Author unknown
“When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, ‘Four. I don’t think I can eat eight.’” – Yogi Berra
“I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is 14 days.” – Totie Fields
“Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.” – Robert Hutchins
“I struggle with laziness. I’m like, ‘Should I sit down and do nothing, or lie down and do nothing?” – Jim Gaffigan
“Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.” – Charles M. Schulz
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.” – Franklin Jones
I wish I could lose weight as easy as I lose my keys, my cell phone and my mind. “A party without cake is just a meeting.” – Julia Child
Every time I lose some weight. I find it again in the refrigerator.