A bit of wisdom with a dab of humor

on Tuesday, 19 September 2017. Posted in Columns

By Brenda Harrison

Abstinence is a good thing if practiced in moderation.

If pride comes before a fall, humility should come by winter.

The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.

Ants are healthy because they have little antibodies.

I love being over 50. I learn something new every day and forget 5 others.

I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

I child proofed my house but they still get in.

Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again.

If attacked by a mob of clowns go for juggler.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.

Frog parking only. All others will be toad.

Does seven days without meat make one week?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

My reality check bounced.

The second mouse get the cheese.

Went to the air and space museum but there was nothing there.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

Cure for an obsession: get another one.

Practice safe eating, always use condiments.

Hold the door open for a clown. It’s a nice jester.

I’m still hot, it just comes in flashes now.

The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

I want to grow my own food, but I can’t find bacon seeds.

A sign posted on another sign that had been smashed read: Thanks for making our sign a hit.

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